The 5 Halloween costumes that will disappoint your parents the most.

Hooray, it's Halloween!

A time to leave your identity behind. A time to become what you wouldn't dare to be any other time of year.

A slore.

Let's face it ladies, ever since our neighbors started questioning whether or not we're too old to be trick-or-treating [jerks], we have found a new joy in this glorious holiday.

Let's face it, the only thing better than receiving candy, is being candy.

Eye candy that is.

That's all great. But, of course, there are a few individuals who take that too far and use Halloween as an excuse to come out of the nudist closet. Gross.

Here are a few examples that are sure to make your grandmother cry;

1) Naughty School Girl

 

Now listen, I went to school. In fact, sometimes I was even a little bad. I got detention once. But, never EVER in my academic career did my school uniform look like this. That being said, these school girls should probably see a doctor because they seem to be developing at an alarming rate. When I was a school girl, I was as developed as an ironing board.

2) Sexy Roller girl

Now this one isn't so bad. Look she even has a hobby and everything. On the other hand, this costume reminds me of this recurring nightmare I had as a child:
I wake up, SUPER excited to go to the roller rink for my birthday party. Then, the HORROR.
 I forgot my pants.

3) Sexy Honey Bee

 

YOU ARE NAKED. 

Bees are cute and all, I get it. That being said, YOU ARE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR. And no, the furry boots do not make it any better, they just draw attention to your inappropriately exposed goodies.

4) Santa Babe

 

Oh okay, Christmas. I get it. Cute. Who doesn't love Christmas, right?

Now, why dear lady, are you jumping your guns? It's Halloween. Enjoy it. 

Does this mean you do an Easter egg hunt for New Years. Jeeze, lady.

Also, I have seen Santa, and this is NOT what he wears. Not even remotely. And don't promote this outfit change either. Do you really want to see a very old, very large man working this get up?

I don't.

5) Smokin' hot Fireman

 

Now isn't this nice? Every day our emergency workings slave away to ensure that our lives are safe.

It's just lovely to see them being recognized. They get medals, awards, and this young lady with 'Smokin' slapped across her breasts. 

Ah, America.

Till next time,

Nesh

Sneaky Tequila

Remember that time I told you I was crazy? Well, this post just builds on that.

Tequila [I also call her Tee , or Tila] has this new obsession with hiding things. The other day she got a new bone, and five minutes later, it had disappeared. Then, we gave her another bone, and sort of tried to spy on her.

She sat there, chewing slowly, staring at us the whole time, waiting for us to look away.

At last we did, but AHA, we were faking her out. She was already on the couch, trying to hide her bone in the cushions. When I said, "Tila, what are you doing?" She made the guiltiest face I have ever seen. Luckily, I had a camera.

Caught in the act

Later that day, we found her trying to hide kibble in Aaron's housemate's jacket. I guess she is just saving for a rainy day. Apparently, she has a pretty firm grasp on the horrors of out economy.

She is too cute.

Nesh

Ode to Pie

It is done, dear readers.

Aaron and I have faced off in a pumpkin vs. sweet potato pie contest. The stakes were high. The tension was so thick and suffocating that you could feel it engulfing you as you entered the kitchen. It was a battle royale indeed.

I think I need to get out more.

To make this contest interesting, we baked two pies each, using recipes of our choices.

Aaron's first sweet-potato pie

 The first and best [in my opinion] recipe that Aaron used was taken off Allrecipes.com [Sweet Potato Pie Recipe].

I was to competitive to judge this pie fairly on the night it was made, but once my pumpkin pies were devoured, I went back to this one and actually quite enjoyed it. 

My only real suggestion [with both sweet potato pies, actually] would be to channel my grandmother and mash the sweet potatoes with a fork before using the hand mixer. This will prevent chunks, and make you feel like a more skilled baker.

Aaron's beautiful, fraudulent pie

The next pie he made, was unnecessarily visually astounding. I hate him for this. I'm a little bitter, can you tell? We initially concluded that this pie was the overall winner. I don't think it was because of the taste, as much as it was about the MERINGUE. How was I to compete with that? That wasn't even in the rules.

This monstrosity was brought to us by Paula Deen. [Unnecessarily dramatic pie recipe]

Whatever, Paula.

My first pumpkin pie

See that? Isn't that just the shiniest, most beautiful pie you have ever seen? I certainly think so. This is the first pumpkin pie I baked. I got the recipe from the back of the pumpkin can. Luckily for my carpel tunnel syndrome, I found the exact recipe online, so I don't have to retype it [Awesome pumpkin pie recipe].

This pie was great, and the recipe was really easy to follow. The only thing I would suggest is that you go easy on the spices. The recipe seems to call for too much and the pie easily looses subtlety that pumpkin pies are loved for.

Pumpkin Pie numero dos

Though my second pie wasn't the most visually appealing, it was surprisingly good. The texture and taste were quite different than traditional pies, but it was really delicious none-the-less.

I would definitely suggest this recipe, which incidentally, also came from Paula Deen [Paula redeems herself]


Even though we thought fraudulent pie won, my pies got devoured first, AND we ended up having to throw the cheating pie out, because nobody ate it. Just saying.

Till next time,
Nesh

Crazy Dog Lady

Welcome to my decline, dear readers.

The following post marks the beginning of my very long, lonely decline into dog-lady-dom. One day, I will be the lady wearing socks and sandals who sits on her rickety old porch, surrounded by twenty seven stray rottweilers. I will yell at every child who ventures onto my property. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I feel that my introduction video didn't do Tequila justice. Though you saw her little head popping out of blankets, you didn't get to really enjoy her cuteness. The following are some pictures that Aaron took.



You're welcome for the crazy, folks.

Nesh <3

Introduction

Readers,

Before I begin anything, I figured you would want the face behind the magic. Ta-Da!!

Once again, I am sorry for rambling! Hopefully I can learn cool editing skills and cut my next videos down a bit =)

Till next time,

Nesh

Fake Culinary Competence

Sick of Ramen and take-out pizza? McCormick has made it incredibly easy to impress others with your palatable prowess.

At first, I thought the new Recipe Inspirations line was a waste of my precious, hard-earned pennies [each package can cost up to three dollars]. Then, a few weeks ago, Aaron made the Asian Sesame Salmon.

Believe me, it was quite the hit.


"You could serve this at a restaurant", one of his friends remarked.

Excuse me? What about my asparagus, Friend-of-Aaron? That didn't tickle your taste buds? I'll show you.

In true, shameless, competitive fashion, I went out and purchased the Recipe Inspirations Chicken Marsala. Now folks, here is a little secret. I had never actually tasted, let alone cooked Chicken Marsala before. As you can imagine, it isn't exactly a staple in your typical South African diet.

So, I faked it.

The recipe was incredibly easy to follow, and actually quite delicious, though I have yet to receive any offers to serve my dish at a restaurant.

Long story short, if you think you can't cook, don't sweat it. As long as you can read and follow directions at ape-level or above, you will be golden.

Will rant again soon,
Nesh <3

P.S. McCormick, I will gladly accept monetary compensation for this stellar endorsement. Cash will do.